As we entered 2014 I still had a lot of confidence that THIS would be the Christmas we would have a family. However, the months passed, we had no success and my spirits had begun to dip. Greg was wonderful. He was the one who was absolutely confident that we were going to be able to get pregnant and have a baby, he never seemed to falter and always was the positive one. I on the other hand Googled, fretted and thought more and more about alternative ways we were going to have children. As the Summer passed we made the decision to see a specialist here in town. Unfortunately there aren't really any choices when it comes to fertility clinics in Iowa so we made an appointment at the only one available.
Before our first appointment I was scheduled for a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). Say that one 5 times fast. Essentially with this procedure I had a dye injected into my uterine cavity and then an x-ray is taken that allows assessment of both the fallopian tubes and the uterine cavity. Here they are looking for any blockages in the fallopian tubes or abnormalities in the uterus itself. The dye did take awhile to flow through the fallopian tubes but when we met with the doctor, this test came back all negative. Now for most folks a negative is a good thing, but you will find that when you go through infertility negative test results are really quite frustrating, or at least they were for me. It's like thinking you may have the answer in your hands and BAM, nope, nothing wrong here. You'll understand more as you read along.
After the HSG came back negative we talked through our health history with the doctor and moved on to the next phase of testing, this time for Murph. His numbers were solid and the one spot where they were a bit off the doctor wasn't too concerned about. I was really happy about this because when infertility issues lie within the male, your options are very limited. Our doctor also had a very strong inkling that I was dealing with endometriosis but the only way to confirm is to have a laparoscopic procedure done. Endometriosis is essentially a spiderweb of scar like tissue that grows on the outside of the uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries and bowels. Because it can grow around these organs it can cause damage to the egg as it releases from the ovary and travels through the fallopian tubes. If the procedure indeed did find this excess tissue he would remove it that day. We decided to proceed and I was scheduled for the outpatient surgery the next week.
This was my first experience with anesthesia and I was pretty anxious about it but the surgery went just fine and thanks to Greg and my parents I was very well taken care of. I did have a hard time waking up and experienced a terrible bout of nausea in conjunction with a ton of shoulder pain (due to a gas they fill your abdomen with) but all in all fared quite well. The doctor explained that I had between stage 3 (moderate) and stage 4 (severe) endometriosis and an endometrioma (a benign estrogen-dependent cyst) that he drained on one of my ovaries. We were instructed to try again on our own for the next three months and if nothing had changed to come back for the next stage of treatment.
So we did just that. I experienced a month or so of hopefulness but quickly fell back into a state of thinking this just wasn't going to work either. Greg continued to be my rock and never gave up, confident we would get pregnant, which was a welcome attitude to have in our home at the time. But three months later there we were sitting in the doctor's office again come February of 2015.
At this point we were two years into trying to have a baby. I couldn't believe it, how could all of that time had passed? I knew this was incredibly short compared to so many other's journeys but for me it felt like a lifetime had passed. This was when we entered the beginning stage of my hardest days.
Love you :)
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